but they are AWESOME.
so here is how you create absolutely perfect holiday stockings:
step one :
have access to an amazing embroidery machine.... or my mother. seriously, she has the most outstanding skills in the embroidery department. she does it all, tshirts, blankets, polo shirts, even patches. she has mad skillz.
take down the hideous curtains in the man cave, do not let your husband know what you're doing with them, just mysteriously walk out of the room. put up new curtains.
get embroidery files that perfectly encapsulate the inner Santa of each member of your household. for this, i went to UrbanThreads and downloaded their Santa Surprise design pack and a freebie that they offered a few weeks ago. (honestly, if you like embroidery even a little, check their website every week, they have amazing freebies ALL THE TIME) have your (my) mother embroider the files onto the horrible curtains.
sew them together, adding the almost obsessive amount of vintage lace and trims i have stashed away instead of fur (actually, the boys have a really neat vintage fur ribbon.... 1960's). don't forget to add a loop.