Wednesday, November 13, 2013

maybe this IS a midlife crisis.

seriously, i turn 39 and suddenly i'm falling apart.  questioning my place in the universe, re thinking patterns that have been two decades in the making, you know, like ya do.  it's not that i'm unhappy with my life, i love my life.  it's just that i know that there could be something else i'm doing.  it's not a feeling of being stuck, but of being....  un stretched.

you know that feeling in yoga after your first mountain pose, that awesome powerful stretch?  i feel like THAT feeling is missing, you know?  that feeling your body has after a challenge.  that.  and it's not like i have a lot of extra time to stretch those muscles (except for literal), so really it leaves one feeling impotent to change anything.  but it doesn't stop the feeling of WANTING the change.  for example, here is a small sampling of the things that have crossed my mind to learn/do/attempt at change just this week alone:

start yoga teacher training
begin an herbalist course
Italian cooking course
start a website selling aprons in geeky fabrics
winning the lottery
learn nailbinding
creating an art instillation project that is all copies of well known paintings but knitted.
yoga flash mob

but now, looking at the list, maybe it's not just the change that i crave, it's the learning.  except for lottery winner and yoga flash mob, that's pretty much all the list is...  learning something.  maybe it's not my life i need to stretch, but my brain.

something to think about at least.

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