Saturday, October 15, 2011

my most controversial post yet. but still nothing to do with occupy wall street.

werewolves will always be cooler than vampires.  there.  i said it.  i know it's 'hip' and 'with it' to say you like vampires more, but it's just not so.  so yeah, i'll be the bad guy and lay it out for you.

  1. werewolves don't sparkle.  nor did anyone try to make them sparkle in order to sell a book.
  2. werewolves can be killed one way.  silver.  preferably through the heart.  vampires can, lets face it, be killed with shabby window treatments at dawn.
  3. it takes money to be a vampire.  you need the clothes, the cars, the castles...  werewolves need only a hobo sack and a relatively safe place to crash once a month
  4. vampires look anemic.  seriously, they look like a stiff wind would snap em in twain.  werewolves however look like Gerard Butler in 300.  and i likes me some meat on my supernatural creatures.
  5. vampires have boy band hair.  that's just not cool.
  6. werewolves are a thinly veiled nod to our base and animal natures.  vampires are a nod to the 1% and their fancy opera cloaks (ha!  i got an occupy wall street joke in there!

and possibly the most important reason

     7.  vampires are humorless dicks.  have you EVER heard one crack a joke?

so there you go.  now you know why werewolves are better. 


  1. YES! Fist pumps AND pelvic thrusts to this one, my sista!

  2. This made my day... hilarious. And yeah, I agree :)


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