Nine Noble Virtues - Dicipline

i woke up yesterday knowing i wasn't going to blog.  i gave myself permission from the very beginning to not blog.  it was my anniversary.  the witch walk was the day before.  i had a lot to do, and a desperate need to decompress.  not a great example of discipline, i know.  but the other things HAD to be done, and honestly, blogging is not the highest priority.

but all the things that HAD to get done, got done.

so i guess it's a pretty good example after all

Nine Noble Virtues - Courage.

i'm writing this now, because i know i won't have time later today.  the Omaha Witch Walk is at 7 (meeting at 6:30) and pretty much from a 1/2 hour from now on, i'm going to be like a chicken with it's head cut off.  no matter what happens today at the walk, i'm considering it a win.  on the website alone we raised over $400, and that's not counting the raffle tickets that we sold in person.  that is amazing to me.  which is where today's noble virtue comes in.   courage.

this is scary.  to spearhead this walk, to start this non-profit....  i'm shaking in my pointy shoes.  not because of the 'mission' of the non-profit, but because no matter how 'out of the broom closet' i am, this puts me out there on a whole new level.  this isn't anymore 'hay heather, you know her'.  it's now 'who is this witch, and why does she want my money?'

but it's something i have to do.

there's no rhyme or reason to it, other than i want to help people.  that's why i got started in my job.  but honestly, i don't really help people there.  oh, i get them the help they need.  but it's not me helping them.  (and to be perfectly honest, the help they need usually isn't the help they want, that's the sad sad reality of 911)  so this is a way that i can really help people that really need it.

so no matter how much i am afraid.  no matter how much i obsess about what will happen when i fail (not if, when.  my brain works that way.).  no matter how much scarier the prospect of succeeding is....  i'm doing this.

and that is courage.  

Nine Noble Virtues : Hospitality

i'm running out of blog fodder.  my last few days of blogs have been just a paragraph or two.  nothing to....  write home about.  so i thought i'd revisit something i wrote earlier in the month.  i'm going to take a noble virtue  and write about it every day.  today is hospitality.

here's what i wrote at the beginning of the month:
Hospitality.  Act within the best interests of everyone.  Make the world a better place. Make everyone feel welcome.  This are just a couple of examples of hospitality.  And yes, I know, you're never going to be able to act in EVERYONES best interests, but even just trying to come up with a way to do so, helps.  Its the whole "manifestation of thought " principal.  (I had a $20 phrase, I had to use it)


all of that still holds true (of course it's only been a couple of days, of COURSE it still holds true).  but one phrase in that "make everyone feel welcome" is key.  not everyone feels welcome in the world.  these are tough times.  more so for some than others (insert OWS soap box here, i'm not going to).  and a lot of people could use help, they just don't know how to ask for it.  I mean, there's Catholic Charities, Lutheran Family Services, Salvation Army...  all wonderful organizations that help a multitude of people, but....  noticing a theme here?

where can an openly Pagan person turn if they need assistance?  i know that each and every one of these organizations would help out a Pagan in need.  but would a Pagan feel comfortable enough to ask one of these places?  i can't say that i would be.

now, this is something that, at the moment, is near and dear to my heart.  i'm not sure if you follow me on twitter or facebook (and to lesser extent google plus),  but i've begun the process to start a non-profit.  it's not going to be anything big to start out, i know, but it's going to be somewhere that Pagans can turn to for warm coats, maybe a gift certificate to help with the mortgage, or a hot meal on a Sabbat.

i'm doing this with my friend Jen, another openly Pagan wonder-mom here, and we're starting small (we're just at the beginning, haven't even really picked out a name yet).  really small.  like, one family at a time as we hear about them.  i've already got a little list going from some of my Pagan blog-buddies that i know are going through hard times, and we'll start there.

but in the interest of hospitality, one of the nine noble virtues, will you help?  if you know of a Pagan family (or even non pagan, just someone that needs assistance), let me know.  

i missed yesterday

with everything that's been going on with my foot, with the witch walk, with starting up a non profit (which is a lot trickier than i thought it would be)...  i blanked out yesterday on blogging altogether.  yeah, i'm a horrible blogger.  call me names, i'm up for it.  i'll write two blogs today to make up for it (and yes, this totally counts as one of them).  that way i'll still hit my 31 blogs, though not technically in the spirit of the challenge.

and least i didn't do a 'look a bunny' post...

Mah dogs are in fire!

I've had plantar ficeitus before.  It went away.  This feels different somehow.  Every step is excruciating. I don't want to go to work, go to the gym, anything.  Hells, I don't want to get out of bed in the morning. Because I know its going to hurt so much.  Its getting to the point that I'm not sure I can make it to my appointment on Tuesday. 

So you'll have to forgive me if this is short, again, but its been a very long and, yes, pain fullday. 

just a quick one

i'm not going to post anything that's even my usual (short) length.  i turned 37 today.  so i'm just going to enjoy my birthday.  

Ouchie

My feet hurt. Or more specific, my foot.  See, these a good chance that I've torn the muscle in my foot that holds up my arch.  And that hurts like hell. It feels like the bottom of mt foot is alternately like dull needles are being jabed into my foot, and its on fire.  I see the orthpedic sergon on Tuesday.  Tuesday.  They day before Wednesday. Wednesday, that is in fact the Witch Walk.  Nature apparently has a sense of humor.

So baring a miracle, I won't actually be WALKING the Witch Walk.  But hey, somebody has to watch the raffle prizes, right...

looking back

in a week, hubby and i will be celebrating our 5 year anniversary.  and i have to say that this has been the best 5 years of my life.

we got married at what all the attendees thought was a halloween party.  no one knew they were there for a wedding until we started.  in fact, or wedding video is rife with my new brother in law saying "no.  wait.  they aren't.  are they?  oh my god i think they are.  no freaking way."  we wrote our own vows.  we were dressed like pirates.  i was asked so many times in the days after the ceremony that i had a tshirt made that simply said "not pregnant".  that seemed to help.

we've worked at the same place, the same hours and same days off.  people have called us crazy for doing so. 'i could never work with my husband'.  i simply reply "i like him". though this somehow never ends the conversation.  at least not for long.

hubby is very 'even keeled'.  sometimes stoic.  i always tell people that im more than emotional for the both of us.  his calm demeanor is what sometimes keeps me from fulfilling an admittedly rage full streak i have a mile wide.  he is the port to my storm.

he keeps me rooted in reality, while still allowing me to dream.  and we make dreams together.  i would have never gotten married again, owned a home, had a child i grew myself, or started a non-profit (working on that one) were it not for him and his support.

we've allowed each other to change.  he's gone from star wars geek, to swarthy pirate, to sports nut in the past 5 years.  and i've loved every change.  i've changed myself.  from massive tom boy to, dare i say it, kinda girly. all with his blessing.

i've never been happier than these last five years.  and i won't say that i'm looking forward to the next five years.  i'm looking forward to the next hundred.

Mark Tomasello, i love you.  i have never loved anyone as much as i love you.  and i never will.  Happy Anniversary (a bit early)

Of pounds and prizes

Since I posted my last rant about weight loss, I'm down 6pounds.  (Most days)  not exactly the numbers that i was hoping for, but then again, I'm not exactly putting in a herculean effort into it.  Its all been about getting into a good routine at the gym.  And I think I've done that.  I got 3 or 4 times a week, working out a different zone each time.  (Upper, core, lower)  I even went and had the "free one time" personal training session that the gym offered when i signed up.  Yes, I know that they only offer a free one to get you to buy a package, but I explained to her right away that i was NOT going to do that, and she was awesome.  She helped me figure out where I was, where I needed to be, and gave me a rough plan on how to get there and how long it will take to get there. Never tried to pressure me into buying something.
And yes, 99% of loosing weight is diet.  I know that.  Did it stop me from eating 1/2 a carton if Phish Food? Nope.  But it did stop me from eating the WHOLE carton, and I think that's a kind of progress, don't you?
So I'm putting together a little list of what I'm going to get for myself at every 10 pounds I loose that i keep off for a week.  These are things that im interested in, that i want, but wouldn't normally get, either because of budget or because I talk myself out of it as frivilous.  I love the word frivilous, don't you? Its like "not only is it silly, its so far beyond silly, that it has its own name".  But I digress.  These are things that i just wouldn't normally get myself.
Oh, and I'm kinda telling you exactly where I'm at now, which I thought long and hard about whether I was going to share with you or no.   But f Im going to do this publicly, I might as well go whole hog. Pun very much intended.  Here goes. 
Once I'm under:
220 - bare minerals make up
210 - lace weight yarn to make a shawl/scarf
200 - tattoo
190 - $50 gift card to amazon.com
180 - buy something, anything, from the Museum Replicas catalog
170 - membership to the zoo
160 - bamboo dpn's in every size
150 - $100 shopping spree at Hobby Lobby
So who's with me?

with the sour comes the sweet

today was kind of craptastic.

it started out wonderful.  waking up to my sweet boy's face.  or rather my sweet boy punching me in the face.  one of the two.  i'm still a little fuzzy on that.  then i had to drop my little man off with my parents, which, while ideal in a lot of respects, still sucks, because it's time away from him.  and someone at work said something careless and that pissed me off for the rest of the day.  and the crazies were out in legion. something i really wanted to arrive in the mail didn't.  which made me remember the logo that was supposed to go in the mail two weeks ago is still on my desk (sorry ImNotHannah, i'll get  it in the mail tomorrow.  but most likely wednsday). Princess decided that she wanted to spend the weekend with her bio-mom because she hadn't seen her all week.  add a less than stellar weights work out... i'm in such a mood that i skipped my Stitch N Bitch with my besties.


but interspersed in that were little sparkles of joy.  bubby made his own choices in his dinner (chicken tender, grapes, and sun chips, with strawberry milk).  two more donations were made for the Omaha Witch Walk.  i worked out the details with Nuclear Ink Custom Tattoo and Piercing to pick up the grand prize for the raffle.  i got lots of little man cuddles.  as i type i'm watching 'my boys' hack at each other with pirate swords.

all in all, not so bad i guess.

Sorry

It's been a long day, and I'm very tired.  So ill be pithy and snarky tomorrow. Promise

my most controversial post yet. but still nothing to do with occupy wall street.

werewolves will always be cooler than vampires.  there.  i said it.  i know it's 'hip' and 'with it' to say you like vampires more, but it's just not so.  so yeah, i'll be the bad guy and lay it out for you.

1. werewolves don't sparkle.  nor did anyone try to make them sparkle in order to sell a book.
2. werewolves can be killed one way.  silver.  preferably through the heart.  vampires can, lets face it, be killed with shabby window treatments at dawn.
3. it takes money to be a vampire.  you need the clothes, the cars, the castles...  werewolves need only a hobo sack and a relatively safe place to crash once a month
4. vampires look anemic.  seriously, they look like a stiff wind would snap em in twain.  werewolves however look like Gerard Butler in 300.  and i likes me some meat on my supernatural creatures.
5. vampires have boy band hair.  that's just not cool.
6. werewolves are a thinly veiled nod to our base and animal natures.  vampires are a nod to the 1% and their fancy opera cloaks (ha!  i got an occupy wall street joke in there!

and possibly the most important reason

     7.  vampires are humorless dicks.  have you EVER heard one crack a joke?

so there you go.  now you know why werewolves are better. 

Second Breakfast

ok my loves, it's recipe time!  this is a new one in the VNH household, but it's quickly becoming a favorite.  i came up with it on the fly in a bout of 'use it or loose it' cooking.  it is, dare i say, the nums.  and yes, it is named after the hobbits in LOTR.

Second Breakfast

preheat oven to 350, and grease up a 9x13 pan
18 eggs
1lb of turkey sausage
2c shredded cheese
fresh ground pepper
kosher salt
Tony Chachere's Original Creole Seasoning


brown the pound of turkey sausage, crack and whisk the eggs, putting them in the greased pan.  add the sausage when it's brown, the cheese and the seasoning/salt/pepper to taste.  pop in the oven for 30 min, or until no longer wiggly in the center.  let cool, cut into squares and put in your favorite grab n go containers to have in the fridge when you need them.

when you're ready for them:
heat for 30 seconds and top with more cheese, or buffalo sauce, or (my favorite) sour cream

enjoy!!!

i'm blessed

and i don't mean in the normal every day "i'm awesome cause i'm me" blessed.  i have awesome friends.

after yesterdays post, i got a huge amount of support messages from my friends, both ones i know in person and those i've never met in real life.  i know i'm not going to be doing this alone.  it's a huge undertaking, but i'm not by myself in it.  i have support, even if it's a tweet of encouragement.  (and not to put too fine a point on it, but i'm also getting new donations for the raffle, so bonus!)

i love you all.  you know who you are.  warm wet lickory kisses to each and every one of you

i'm scared spitless

and yes, i know what you read.  that's what i meant.  (and to be honest, i kinda hear it in samuel l jackson's voice, but that may be just me)

in two weeks the Omaha Witch Walk has their first annual walk.  the first.  which means it's never been done before.  and i'm doing it.  putting it on from start to finish.  i've never done this before.  i've never started from the ground up putting on a charity walk.  let alone a themed walk for a specific charity and purpose.

what i'm doing is important.  and the reasons that i'm doing them is even more so.  but i'm scared that i can't pull it off.  i'm scared that it's going to tank something awful.  and that we'll never get past the first year.  and this is something that i want to do every year.  something that i'm making a company with my friend Jen to ensure that it's done every year.  something that i want to be HUGE.  this is just the first step.  and first steps are scary.

scary.  like wakes me up from a dead sleep after a dream that no one showed up.  like my phone ate an email, and we're a week behind where i wanted to be.  (but the OI foundation was totally on the ball and put together in HOURS what i thought would take days)  but first steps are also beginnings.  where you start.  and how you get somewhere great.

you just have to.......  step

Poetry

I used to write poetry all the time. Volumes. Now its a only very occasionly thing. But here goes

Sweet boy. Lying next to me
Smelling of milk.
Do you understand the
Ferocity
Of my love?
The cities I would burn
For your smile?
You are the last great
Love
Of my life.
Your daddy was the first.
So sleep
Sweet boy.
Dreaming baby dreams
As I kiss your forehead.

well that sucks

i've been knitting a slouchie beanie hat.  the pictures on the pattern look amazing.  super comfy, super cool, super (dare i say it) hip.

and nothing like the hat that i just knitted.

i know it's just 'knitters let down', but i'm still pretty pissed

Dear 15 year old me

Dear 15 year old me,
     hi.  i've come from the future to give you a message.  some of it's good, some of it's bad.  just listen.  it's important.  oh, and don't get your hopes up about the 'time travel' thing.  H.G.Wells was a fraud.

•      stop trying to fit in.  it's not going to work.  instead how about you be comfortable with who you are?  that will work out much better for you in the years to come
• yes, black goes with everything.  but how about saving your mother a lot of worry and throw a couple of other colors in there as well, huh?  seriously.  give the woman a break
• you will never understand Jackson Pollack.  stop trying.
• boys will break your heart.  and it will hurt worse each time it happens.  but never ever be afraid to try again.  there is one out there.  an honest to gods true love.  and he is worth every tear the others made you cry.
• you don't want children.  that's fine.  you won't for another 20 years.  but someday you will.  and you'll get them.  and it's not like you think it will be.  it's so much better.
• the winning lottery numbers are 5,16,42,8, & 2.  however, you never buy the ticket.
• when you finally come out of the 'broom closet', mom and dad are exceptionally cool.  you'll wonder why you were hesitant to tell them.  
• there is a book series called Twilight.  just...  no.  save yourself the aggravation   
• yes, you just read the bell jar and didn't think anything was too weird about it.  you're going to read it again in 3-4 years and wonder why your parents didn't have you locked up in the mental ward.  trust me, you don't see it now, but that book is all kinds of effed up.  
• there will be a show called firefly.  it will mean a great deal to you.  i'd tell you more, but you'll want to see for yourself.
• don't let anyone give you crap about not driving till you're 17.  if you're not ready, you're not ready.  life will unfold for you at it's own pace.  not someone else s.  because then it would be their life, not yours.
• no, she's not going to change.  yes, she gets worse.  you're just going to have to deal with her as she is.  you know who i'm talking about.
• you are not the sum of your parts. 

     and finally

• there will come a time when you are going to hit your groove and everything will be perfict.  try not to ruin it by trying to figure out what the price you will have to pay is going to be.  you're going to do it anyway, just try.  that's all i'm asking

    your 37 (in two weeks) self,

                    heather

I'm knitting

I'm actually in bed knitting and writing this.post on my phone.  Watched the foosball all day and never got my post in. I had PLENTY of time for pintrest and revelry, not enough to blog apparently.  It's not helping that Bubby is drooling on my arm. 

I found a very cool pattern for a slouchy bennie hat.  I'm knitting it up in a great pumpkin color.  I love me some Orange. 

Think I'm going to bed now, before I not...type...so good.

i spy bottle

i think you know of my love/even-more-love relationship i have with pintrest.  it's the dev-o.  there is so much there that it's hard not to feel a bit.... overwhelmed.  but if you can muddle through and organize enough, you can usually find the gems, the things that you can actually use in your real life.

one thing is the i spy bottle.

there are several versions on pintrest, and they are all flippin awesome.  and bubby is getting to the age where he likes to explore and tell you what he sees.  so it was time to make one myself.  here's a quick instructable.

first start with the following: a bottle with a cap, a funnel, a spoon, rice, and things to put in the bottle.

we of course used little star wars figures, pumpkins, and itty bitty pots and pans from a doll house.  oh and beer caps.  be sure to check the size of the objects.  Yoda didn't fit.  

spoon the rice into the bottle via the funnel,  when you've got a good layer, add in all the toys, then cover with more rice.  be sure to leave enough room at the top for the rice to be able to move around.  otherwise you just have a bottle of rice.  and that's not fun to play with.  

put the cap on the bottle and watch your little one have fun spying the different objects.  i plan on gluing the cap on after he goes to bed.  i can see rice all over the floor if i don't.

awesome, huh?

it's geek night! booyah!

just a quick post tonight.  the guys are coming over for our bi-weekly rpg.  we're still playing dragonage, but i think star wars will be starting up again soon.  right now i'm an axe wielding dwarf.  i'm awesome.

having the guys over involves cleaning the house, so i've been at it since i got home from Bubby and C's play date (though i hate the term play date. i'd rather just say that i hung out with J while the boys played) i was decked out in full witchy gear.  my mom made me an apron with a kitchen witch on it, so of COURSE i had to wear it the entire time.  Frigga was very happy.  (on the same note, i've started doing a nightly prayer to the gods.  that's something i haven't done since i was, oh, i don't know... seven.  i like it.)

so, about to scarf some bread and cheese before the guys get here.  mmmmm, cheese.

Wordless wednsday - tiny top hat edition

I love my embroidery machine.  As if you couldn't tell.  But I'm really loving the... unexpected things that it can do.  Like make lace. 

take these parts

sew them together like this

and this

then put them all together, but hopefully take a picture that comes out right way up

it's red wine with mac n cheese, right?

it's five o clock.  i'm eating my dinner.  yellow cheese type pasta shaped like a cartoon race car, with garlic salt and sour cream added.  drinking a glass or red wine.  cause i'm all fancy.  i think it's possible i've been out of the world too long.  it's possible that i have not been out of the house except to go to work or to the grocery store for several months.  i know this because i'm super excited that a new backyardigans is avilable on netflix.

so hubby and i are going to have a date night on friday.  we're planing on going bowling.  and i am absurdly looking for ward to it.  we haven't been on a date night in....  yeah, i don't remember.  but i'm pretty sure i spent the entire time texting my mother asking if Bubby had been attacked by the roomba.  (serioulsy, that thing will kill someone some day.  what's the name of the company?  irobot.  am i the ONLY one who saw the movie????)  so a date night is much needed.

almost didn't get it in today

i got caught up in embroidery.  seriously.  you think it's just a matter of picking out a pattern and pressing a button.  no.  i had thread issues.  MASSIVE thread issues.  (note to self, thread that is quite possibly from the 1970's....  not so much for embroidery.  just sayn')  and needle issues.  and stabilizer issues.  but i've got the top hat completely embroidered.  i'm going to give it to mom for a halloween gift.  i'll post pics of the construction phase for wordless wednsday.

anywho...


today's blog prompt from NaBloWriMo is 'if you could be any character from a book, who would you be'.  that is easy peasy.  though admittedly, there is a great pool from which to choose.  i could be Hermione.  The White Queen. Dresden.  all of those would be awesome.  but i have to say, 100%, unquestionably, i would be Sybil Vimes.

what do you mean you don't know who Sybil is?  i don't even KNOW you anymore!!!  (yes, a bit dramatic, but it's the same conversation i have with hubby every year or so).

Sibyl Vimes is an (admittedly) minor character in the Discworld series by Terry Pratchett.  she never saved the world (except in a round about way), she never started a war, or was the deus ex machena.  but she is the baddest, most kick ass character in my literary world.  why?  because she grows.  she goes from being a jolly, friendly, sometimes soppy intellectual in Guards! Guards! to a woman who sets an entire pen of dragons on a dwarf that invades her home in Thud! (best line ever (in context) 'good boys!)

i identify with Sibyl.  i can easily see myself as the girl with the 'great personaliy' that throws herself into a hobby.  then, when unexpectedly, and late in life, love finds her, she embraces the roles of wife and mother, even protectress.  she lives her reality, even when it's in change.  that takes guts.

so while there's not a book just about Sibyl, she is to me one of the most important characters there is.  without her Sam Vimes would still be drunk in a gutter and the Patrician would have no fun at all.

and if none of that makes sense to you here's your library list:

Guards! Guards!
The Night Watch
Thud!

all by Terry Pratchett.

go read them now.  then tell me Sybil isn't the bomb.

The nine noble virtues

In heathen society (of which I think I'm now a member), there is a broad code of ethics that pretty much universally heathens subscribe to.  Its called the nine noble virtues.  They are : courage, discipline, fidelity, honor, hospitality, industriousness, perseverance, self-reliance, and truth.  Its kind of like a road map of how to live with integrity, the way a heathen should.  They are pretty universal on how to live a good life anyway.  Here's how I see them;

Courage.  'Speak your mind even if your voice shakes'  is what I think of when i think of courage.  Its not just the ability to fight, but the ability to simply speak up when you're terrified.  Courage is something I need to work on. 

Discipline. Discipline isn't about going to the gym every day, or vowing to never have another candy bar ever again.  Discipline is about going to work everyday when you want to be on the couch. About making sure the bills are paid, the bathroom gets painted, and the laundry is done.  Its about doing the little things that have to get done. 

Fidelity.  Fidelity is sticking with it.  With whatever it is for as long as it takes.  Sticking with a friendship, a marrage, a family member, a god, anyone.  No matter how difficult the path gets.  Admittedly, sometimes relationships end, but with fidelity, you've at least given it your best effort, and done everything gyou can to keep with it. (Conversly though, sometimes you have to let go to move on, you know?)

Honor.  Honor means, broadly, doing what is right, no matter what.  And sometimes that is the hardest thing in the world to do.  I mean think about it, how many times a day do you do something that you know is not 'right' even if it's 'legal?

Hospitality.  Act within the best interests of everyone.  Make the world a better place. Make everyone feel welcome.  This are just a couple of examples of hospitality.  And yes, I know, you're never going to be able to act in EVERYONES best interests, but even just trying to come up with a way to do so, helps.  Its the whole "manifestation of thought " principal.  (I had a $20 phrase, I had to use it)

Industriousness. This one I'd like to think I've got in spades.  Industriousness boils down to finding your gifts and honing them. Be productive. Do that voo doo that you doo so well.  Me, I'm crafty.  A lot.  So expect even more of that.

Perseverance.  If at first you don't succeed, dust yourself off, figure out what went wrong, try again.  Basicly, keep at it till its the best you can do.  This kind of goes hand in hand with fidelity.

Self-reliance. Not just being able to do for yourself, but also taking responsibility for your actions.  Put your ideas into action, then stand behind the action. 

Truth.  Ahhh, here's the tricky one.  Because its not just speaking the truth, its living the truth.  Being true to yourself, your dieties, and to your society.  Real truth. 

These are things that I'm trying to encorperate into my every day life.  Some I've got down, some I need a lot of work on. 

NaBloWriMo and Letters to the Littles

it's october first!  it's officially NaBloWriMo!!!!  i'm very excited.  i had so much fun last year, so this year will be even better!!!  (and you thought you got sick of me writing only once a week....)


it's also the first of the month, which means it's time for the Letters to the Littles.  i'm trying to write a letter to my kids once a month, it's a great exercise, and one i hope you will do to.  just remember, what you say on the Internet is there.  forever.  so don't say something that you're going to regret later.  be smart about it, ok?

Dear Princess,
     this has been kind of a trying month for all of us.  you're getting more independent, and quickly becoming more and more of a teenager.  i still think you make good decisions, don't worry about that, you're smart (smarter than you realize).  but you have to remember that we have rules at our house for a reason.  we're in charge of helping you become the best and most wonderful person that you can be.  and that requires boundaries and responsibilities.  so i'm sorry, but no matter how much you want it to, that's not going to change. because i love you.  fiercely.  but when it all boils down to it, i'm not your friend.  i'm your parent.  and i will be there for you long after your friends have come and gone.  i will always love you.  i will always accept you with open arms.  but i have a responsibility to you and to society to lead you to become the best person you can be.  and that involves putting away the dishes and doing laundry and watching your brother.
     your birthday is next month (gads, officially a teen!!!) and i've already started making you gifts.  i think you'll love them.
    i love you

                 Mom


Dear Bubby,
     this month has given us so much with you.  more words.  the beginning of sentences.  daredevil tendencies like leaping off the coffee table.  i see a lot of er visits in our future.  but they will be well spoken er visits.  you're very daddy-centric this month.  and i'm ok with that.  the two of you have been all about football.  it's adorable to see the two of you watching the game together.  you even know when daddy says 'touchdown' you have to say 'touchdown' too.  that's not to say you haven't been mommy-centric too.  you have.  you're very cuddly.  and you love nose kisses (for about 3 seconds).  you're a good mix of the two.
     you're also testing your boundaries.  sometimes repeatedly in the same 5 minute period.  and to be honest, there are times that you strain the gentile parenting that your daddy and i are trying to cultivate.  we've used a lot of 'time outs' this month, and i'm not sure they work, but i don't know of anything else to do when you start hitting and headbutting (where did you learn that anyway?  i'm pretty sure that papa doesn't headbutt!). thankfully the biting has stopped for the most part.
     you're starting to have favorites.  favorite show (cars), favorite fruit (apple!!!), and favorite thing in the world (TRUCKS!!!!).  i'm hoping that we can put off the 'mine' phase for a while, but im not counting on it.  i hope the cuddly phase lasts...
     i love you
             Mom