i was.... pissed.
you know that level of mad where you see it from the other side and realize just how ridiculous you are being? that "why can't i let it go, i can't let it go? oh, i can't let it go because i have so much MAD invested in this mad" level of mad? yep, i was there. i was laughing i was so upset. like laughing at how... just ridiculous i was being.
no, i'm not going to get into what upset me.
but my husband. gods i love that man. he is seriously the most supportive person ever in the history of everty ever. he listened to me vent. and i did. i ranted and railed. i shook my fist at the universe and didn't use all my fingers. he held my hand and patted my back. he told me everything was going to be ok. and when it was over, when my vitrol was spent, he did the most amazing, most wonderful thing. he walked with me upstairs, went into our storage area and drug out all my canvas' and my easel. he moved stuff around in the play room so that i have an area to paint in. he even reminded me i have an almost new set or oil paints that i haven't even popped the seals on.
so for the past two days i've been working on a painting. im not great with oils, i really need to practice. i'm considering taking a painting class (acrylics, but the skills transfer) at a nearby art studio. maybe even see how much renting some studio time would cost, but i'm not taking that train of thought seriously. we have children, not studio time, and i have a responsible steak a mile wide, that's money that can be spent better somewhere else.
here is my piece so far. it's still in the very early stages, so a lot is bound to change.
you know that level of mad where you see it from the other side and realize just how ridiculous you are being? that "why can't i let it go, i can't let it go? oh, i can't let it go because i have so much MAD invested in this mad" level of mad? yep, i was there. i was laughing i was so upset. like laughing at how... just ridiculous i was being.
no, i'm not going to get into what upset me.
but my husband. gods i love that man. he is seriously the most supportive person ever in the history of everty ever. he listened to me vent. and i did. i ranted and railed. i shook my fist at the universe and didn't use all my fingers. he held my hand and patted my back. he told me everything was going to be ok. and when it was over, when my vitrol was spent, he did the most amazing, most wonderful thing. he walked with me upstairs, went into our storage area and drug out all my canvas' and my easel. he moved stuff around in the play room so that i have an area to paint in. he even reminded me i have an almost new set or oil paints that i haven't even popped the seals on.
so for the past two days i've been working on a painting. im not great with oils, i really need to practice. i'm considering taking a painting class (acrylics, but the skills transfer) at a nearby art studio. maybe even see how much renting some studio time would cost, but i'm not taking that train of thought seriously. we have children, not studio time, and i have a responsible steak a mile wide, that's money that can be spent better somewhere else.
here is my piece so far. it's still in the very early stages, so a lot is bound to change.
And it's upon reading your blog I realize that you said "paints" not pastels. Good grief, I'm a loony. I have no experience at all with oil paints, but I think your painting is coming along nicely!
ReplyDeleteAnd I totally get you on that level of mad, I've been there. The laughing while yelling thing is always hilarious but never makes me stop being angry. x__x
it started with pastels. but the pastels i have i don't like (as you know) and so i switched it up to oils. i forgot to "prime" the canvas board before i started, so it's going to take MULTIPLE layers of paints. there will be a lot of experimentation.
DeleteI can totally relate to "that level of pi**ed" in your first paragraph! Been there, done that too many times to count! It's nice to know I'm not alone in the universe with my rants--it makes me feel more normal somehow (whatever normal is). So, I just wanted to say thank you for putting that out there. :)
ReplyDeleteAs far as your husband goes...what a keeper!!!
May you find a peaceful joy with your painting (that keeps those "rants" at bay.