Mah dogs are in fire!

I've had plantar ficeitus before.  It went away.  This feels different somehow.  Every step is excruciating. I don't want to go to work, go to the gym, anything.  Hells, I don't want to get out of bed in the morning. Because I know its going to hurt so much.  Its getting to the point that I'm not sure I can make it to my appointment on Tuesday. 

So you'll have to forgive me if this is short, again, but its been a very long and, yes, pain fullday. 

Ouchie

My feet hurt. Or more specific, my foot.  See, these a good chance that I've torn the muscle in my foot that holds up my arch.  And that hurts like hell. It feels like the bottom of mt foot is alternately like dull needles are being jabed into my foot, and its on fire.  I see the orthpedic sergon on Tuesday.  Tuesday.  They day before Wednesday. Wednesday, that is in fact the Witch Walk.  Nature apparently has a sense of humor.

So baring a miracle, I won't actually be WALKING the Witch Walk.  But hey, somebody has to watch the raffle prizes, right...

Of pounds and prizes

Since I posted my last rant about weight loss, I'm down 6pounds.  (Most days)  not exactly the numbers that i was hoping for, but then again, I'm not exactly putting in a herculean effort into it.  Its all been about getting into a good routine at the gym.  And I think I've done that.  I got 3 or 4 times a week, working out a different zone each time.  (Upper, core, lower)  I even went and had the "free one time" personal training session that the gym offered when i signed up.  Yes, I know that they only offer a free one to get you to buy a package, but I explained to her right away that i was NOT going to do that, and she was awesome.  She helped me figure out where I was, where I needed to be, and gave me a rough plan on how to get there and how long it will take to get there. Never tried to pressure me into buying something.
And yes, 99% of loosing weight is diet.  I know that.  Did it stop me from eating 1/2 a carton if Phish Food? Nope.  But it did stop me from eating the WHOLE carton, and I think that's a kind of progress, don't you?
So I'm putting together a little list of what I'm going to get for myself at every 10 pounds I loose that i keep off for a week.  These are things that im interested in, that i want, but wouldn't normally get, either because of budget or because I talk myself out of it as frivilous.  I love the word frivilous, don't you? Its like "not only is it silly, its so far beyond silly, that it has its own name".  But I digress.  These are things that i just wouldn't normally get myself.
Oh, and I'm kinda telling you exactly where I'm at now, which I thought long and hard about whether I was going to share with you or no.   But f Im going to do this publicly, I might as well go whole hog. Pun very much intended.  Here goes. 
Once I'm under:
220 - bare minerals make up
210 - lace weight yarn to make a shawl/scarf
200 - tattoo
190 - $50 gift card to amazon.com
180 - buy something, anything, from the Museum Replicas catalog
170 - membership to the zoo
160 - bamboo dpn's in every size
150 - $100 shopping spree at Hobby Lobby
So who's with me?

with the sour comes the sweet

today was kind of craptastic.

it started out wonderful.  waking up to my sweet boy's face.  or rather my sweet boy punching me in the face.  one of the two.  i'm still a little fuzzy on that.  then i had to drop my little man off with my parents, which, while ideal in a lot of respects, still sucks, because it's time away from him.  and someone at work said something careless and that pissed me off for the rest of the day.  and the crazies were out in legion. something i really wanted to arrive in the mail didn't.  which made me remember the logo that was supposed to go in the mail two weeks ago is still on my desk (sorry ImNotHannah, i'll get  it in the mail tomorrow.  but most likely wednsday). Princess decided that she wanted to spend the weekend with her bio-mom because she hadn't seen her all week.  add a less than stellar weights work out... i'm in such a mood that i skipped my Stitch N Bitch with my besties.


but interspersed in that were little sparkles of joy.  bubby made his own choices in his dinner (chicken tender, grapes, and sun chips, with strawberry milk).  two more donations were made for the Omaha Witch Walk.  i worked out the details with Nuclear Ink Custom Tattoo and Piercing to pick up the grand prize for the raffle.  i got lots of little man cuddles.  as i type i'm watching 'my boys' hack at each other with pirate swords.

all in all, not so bad i guess.

Poetry

I used to write poetry all the time. Volumes. Now its a only very occasionly thing. But here goes

Sweet boy. Lying next to me
Smelling of milk.
Do you understand the
Ferocity
Of my love?
The cities I would burn
For your smile?
You are the last great
Love
Of my life.
Your daddy was the first.
So sleep
Sweet boy.
Dreaming baby dreams
As I kiss your forehead.

Dear 15 year old me

Dear 15 year old me,
     hi.  i've come from the future to give you a message.  some of it's good, some of it's bad.  just listen.  it's important.  oh, and don't get your hopes up about the 'time travel' thing.  H.G.Wells was a fraud.

•      stop trying to fit in.  it's not going to work.  instead how about you be comfortable with who you are?  that will work out much better for you in the years to come
• yes, black goes with everything.  but how about saving your mother a lot of worry and throw a couple of other colors in there as well, huh?  seriously.  give the woman a break
• you will never understand Jackson Pollack.  stop trying.
• boys will break your heart.  and it will hurt worse each time it happens.  but never ever be afraid to try again.  there is one out there.  an honest to gods true love.  and he is worth every tear the others made you cry.
• you don't want children.  that's fine.  you won't for another 20 years.  but someday you will.  and you'll get them.  and it's not like you think it will be.  it's so much better.
• the winning lottery numbers are 5,16,42,8, & 2.  however, you never buy the ticket.
• when you finally come out of the 'broom closet', mom and dad are exceptionally cool.  you'll wonder why you were hesitant to tell them.  
• there is a book series called Twilight.  just...  no.  save yourself the aggravation   
• yes, you just read the bell jar and didn't think anything was too weird about it.  you're going to read it again in 3-4 years and wonder why your parents didn't have you locked up in the mental ward.  trust me, you don't see it now, but that book is all kinds of effed up.  
• there will be a show called firefly.  it will mean a great deal to you.  i'd tell you more, but you'll want to see for yourself.
• don't let anyone give you crap about not driving till you're 17.  if you're not ready, you're not ready.  life will unfold for you at it's own pace.  not someone else s.  because then it would be their life, not yours.
• no, she's not going to change.  yes, she gets worse.  you're just going to have to deal with her as she is.  you know who i'm talking about.
• you are not the sum of your parts. 

     and finally

• there will come a time when you are going to hit your groove and everything will be perfict.  try not to ruin it by trying to figure out what the price you will have to pay is going to be.  you're going to do it anyway, just try.  that's all i'm asking

    your 37 (in two weeks) self,

                    heather

I'm knitting

I'm actually in bed knitting and writing this.post on my phone.  Watched the foosball all day and never got my post in. I had PLENTY of time for pintrest and revelry, not enough to blog apparently.  It's not helping that Bubby is drooling on my arm. 

I found a very cool pattern for a slouchy bennie hat.  I'm knitting it up in a great pumpkin color.  I love me some Orange. 

Think I'm going to bed now, before I not...type...so good.

i spy bottle

i think you know of my love/even-more-love relationship i have with pintrest.  it's the dev-o.  there is so much there that it's hard not to feel a bit.... overwhelmed.  but if you can muddle through and organize enough, you can usually find the gems, the things that you can actually use in your real life.

one thing is the i spy bottle.

there are several versions on pintrest, and they are all flippin awesome.  and bubby is getting to the age where he likes to explore and tell you what he sees.  so it was time to make one myself.  here's a quick instructable.

first start with the following: a bottle with a cap, a funnel, a spoon, rice, and things to put in the bottle.

we of course used little star wars figures, pumpkins, and itty bitty pots and pans from a doll house.  oh and beer caps.  be sure to check the size of the objects.  Yoda didn't fit.  

spoon the rice into the bottle via the funnel,  when you've got a good layer, add in all the toys, then cover with more rice.  be sure to leave enough room at the top for the rice to be able to move around.  otherwise you just have a bottle of rice.  and that's not fun to play with.  

put the cap on the bottle and watch your little one have fun spying the different objects.  i plan on gluing the cap on after he goes to bed.  i can see rice all over the floor if i don't.

awesome, huh?

it's geek night! booyah!

just a quick post tonight.  the guys are coming over for our bi-weekly rpg.  we're still playing dragonage, but i think star wars will be starting up again soon.  right now i'm an axe wielding dwarf.  i'm awesome.

having the guys over involves cleaning the house, so i've been at it since i got home from Bubby and C's play date (though i hate the term play date. i'd rather just say that i hung out with J while the boys played) i was decked out in full witchy gear.  my mom made me an apron with a kitchen witch on it, so of COURSE i had to wear it the entire time.  Frigga was very happy.  (on the same note, i've started doing a nightly prayer to the gods.  that's something i haven't done since i was, oh, i don't know... seven.  i like it.)

so, about to scarf some bread and cheese before the guys get here.  mmmmm, cheese.

Wordless wednsday - tiny top hat edition

I love my embroidery machine.  As if you couldn't tell.  But I'm really loving the... unexpected things that it can do.  Like make lace. 

take these parts

sew them together like this

and this

then put them all together, but hopefully take a picture that comes out right way up

almost didn't get it in today

i got caught up in embroidery.  seriously.  you think it's just a matter of picking out a pattern and pressing a button.  no.  i had thread issues.  MASSIVE thread issues.  (note to self, thread that is quite possibly from the 1970's....  not so much for embroidery.  just sayn')  and needle issues.  and stabilizer issues.  but i've got the top hat completely embroidered.  i'm going to give it to mom for a halloween gift.  i'll post pics of the construction phase for wordless wednsday.

anywho...


today's blog prompt from NaBloWriMo is 'if you could be any character from a book, who would you be'.  that is easy peasy.  though admittedly, there is a great pool from which to choose.  i could be Hermione.  The White Queen. Dresden.  all of those would be awesome.  but i have to say, 100%, unquestionably, i would be Sybil Vimes.

what do you mean you don't know who Sybil is?  i don't even KNOW you anymore!!!  (yes, a bit dramatic, but it's the same conversation i have with hubby every year or so).

Sibyl Vimes is an (admittedly) minor character in the Discworld series by Terry Pratchett.  she never saved the world (except in a round about way), she never started a war, or was the deus ex machena.  but she is the baddest, most kick ass character in my literary world.  why?  because she grows.  she goes from being a jolly, friendly, sometimes soppy intellectual in Guards! Guards! to a woman who sets an entire pen of dragons on a dwarf that invades her home in Thud! (best line ever (in context) 'good boys!)

i identify with Sibyl.  i can easily see myself as the girl with the 'great personaliy' that throws herself into a hobby.  then, when unexpectedly, and late in life, love finds her, she embraces the roles of wife and mother, even protectress.  she lives her reality, even when it's in change.  that takes guts.

so while there's not a book just about Sibyl, she is to me one of the most important characters there is.  without her Sam Vimes would still be drunk in a gutter and the Patrician would have no fun at all.

and if none of that makes sense to you here's your library list:

Guards! Guards!
The Night Watch
Thud!

all by Terry Pratchett.

go read them now.  then tell me Sybil isn't the bomb.

The nine noble virtues

In heathen society (of which I think I'm now a member), there is a broad code of ethics that pretty much universally heathens subscribe to.  Its called the nine noble virtues.  They are : courage, discipline, fidelity, honor, hospitality, industriousness, perseverance, self-reliance, and truth.  Its kind of like a road map of how to live with integrity, the way a heathen should.  They are pretty universal on how to live a good life anyway.  Here's how I see them;

Courage.  'Speak your mind even if your voice shakes'  is what I think of when i think of courage.  Its not just the ability to fight, but the ability to simply speak up when you're terrified.  Courage is something I need to work on. 

Discipline. Discipline isn't about going to the gym every day, or vowing to never have another candy bar ever again.  Discipline is about going to work everyday when you want to be on the couch. About making sure the bills are paid, the bathroom gets painted, and the laundry is done.  Its about doing the little things that have to get done. 

Fidelity.  Fidelity is sticking with it.  With whatever it is for as long as it takes.  Sticking with a friendship, a marrage, a family member, a god, anyone.  No matter how difficult the path gets.  Admittedly, sometimes relationships end, but with fidelity, you've at least given it your best effort, and done everything gyou can to keep with it. (Conversly though, sometimes you have to let go to move on, you know?)

Honor.  Honor means, broadly, doing what is right, no matter what.  And sometimes that is the hardest thing in the world to do.  I mean think about it, how many times a day do you do something that you know is not 'right' even if it's 'legal?

Hospitality.  Act within the best interests of everyone.  Make the world a better place. Make everyone feel welcome.  This are just a couple of examples of hospitality.  And yes, I know, you're never going to be able to act in EVERYONES best interests, but even just trying to come up with a way to do so, helps.  Its the whole "manifestation of thought " principal.  (I had a $20 phrase, I had to use it)

Industriousness. This one I'd like to think I've got in spades.  Industriousness boils down to finding your gifts and honing them. Be productive. Do that voo doo that you doo so well.  Me, I'm crafty.  A lot.  So expect even more of that.

Perseverance.  If at first you don't succeed, dust yourself off, figure out what went wrong, try again.  Basicly, keep at it till its the best you can do.  This kind of goes hand in hand with fidelity.

Self-reliance. Not just being able to do for yourself, but also taking responsibility for your actions.  Put your ideas into action, then stand behind the action. 

Truth.  Ahhh, here's the tricky one.  Because its not just speaking the truth, its living the truth.  Being true to yourself, your dieties, and to your society.  Real truth. 

These are things that I'm trying to encorperate into my every day life.  Some I've got down, some I need a lot of work on. 

Time flies when youre dizzy-ing-ly busy

Its been a couple of weeks since my last blog post.  And while I'd love to say its because I'm saving up all my good stuff for NaBloWriMo next month, I've just been busy.  Too busy to blog.  I know, its hard to believe, but trust me, it happens.  And no, I wasn't just on pintrest or cleaning my kitchen over and over again. (Though it could use a good scrubbng again.....)


I've joined a gym. Which is kinda awesome, and a lot painful. I've already lost a couple of pounds, and I'm starting to see some definition in my arms.  Arms are by far my favorite part.  I love working them, and love looking at them.  That little divit where the bicep and the tricep meet....mmmmmmm.  So I've been going a couple of times a week. Still have to get into a regular routine.  But like I said, I'm already seeing the benifits, and I love it.  Plus, to be honest, its a little time for myself that isnt just about getting dinner, or cleaning, or taking care of Hubby and Bubby.  I've always hated the term 'me time' but now I understand it.  A little time each day to remind myself I'm not just the sum of my parts.


The main thing that's been keeping my attention though... the Omaha Witches Walk.  Its a fundraiser for the Osteogenisis Imperfecta foundation that I've been organizing.  Its super short notice, and to be honest, I'm considering it a win if we raise even $200, but its been keeping me pretty busy.  I've never organized something like this from the ground up before, I'll admit, its daunting.  From picking dates (which we haven't yet) to figuring out logos and flyers.... like I said, daunting.  I've got a great mentor in this however.  Mrs. B from Confessons of a Pagan Soccer Mom is on her second annual walk in New Jersey, and she's been an awesome help. (If you're in the Jersey area, please check it out!)  I'd like this to turn into an annual walk, and maybe create a non profit to run it, but that's way in the future. 


I need to balance out my time a little more, especially with NaBloWriMo next month, a blog a day can be dauntng too!