Naturally Beautiful

I spend a lot of time at work waiting for the next emergency (and trying to ignore some of the people around me). And a good amount of that time is watching the scroll channel.  Most of the infomercials I don't mind. There silly or fluffy or just down right stupid. But one is just stuck in my craw.  Meaningful Beauty.  not so much for what the product does, its some kind face cream or something,  but for its name.
Why is beauty only meaning full if its external? Do our lives only have meaning if we are aesthetically pleasing?  Seriously the only way we are fully functioning members of society is if our faces are blemish free and smooth as a baby's butt? 
WELL 'EFF THAT!!!
My meaning is not based on the perfection of my face. Which, by the by, isn't. I have eye crinkles. And laugh lines, which I earn daily. There are freckles, and scars, and remnants of sunburns past, and....... LIFE!  I have LIVED in this face, and in this body and gods damn it I won't erase that with some goop that comes in a little jar. I wear my life on this face.  And its a wonderful life. And a wonderful face.  This face is the one from which my children will learn what beauty really is. 
Beauty, real MEANINGFUL beauty is knowledge.  The knowledge that I am strong, and funny, and smart, and sexy, and confidant, and about a million different things that have nothing to do with the genetic placement of my facial bones. I am beautiful. Gorgeous. Hawt. Not because of my face, but because of how I face the world. 
And if i teach my children nothing else in this world, it will be that that is true for them as well. 

Wordless Wednsday - things that happen when im at work

but mostly 

Flying by the Seat of My Pants

Welcome to the July Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting Philosophy

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants
have shared their parenting practices and how they fit in with their
parenting purpose. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the
other carnival participants.

***

i'm new to the whole natural parenting thing.  when i met the princess she was already 4, and a lot of the hard stuff had been taken care of for me.  no dipies, she could feed herself (though she would only eat maybe 2 or three things total), and to be honest, she needed very little discipline.  easy-peasey.  so now somewhere in my mid (to late) thirties, i have a toddler.  and i'm kinda winging it here.

now, we had a lot of discussions on our parenting styles, hubby and i, before bubby was even born.  what kind of parents we wanted to be, what we liked about our parents parenting style, what we didn't.  and i'm not saying that we agree on everything, but we have reached a general consensus.  and even that is pretty fluid about 90% of the time.

because as bubby grows, we grow as parents.  every new situation allows us to become (hopefully) the mom and dad that the bubs deserves.  when we find that one technique works, awesome.  if another doesn't, then we change our style a bit.  to  me, that's what natural parenting is.  finding what works for your family, and going with it.  what works for us might not work for someone else.  we co-slept.  we baby wear.  we 50/50 cloth diapers vs 'sposies. we try gentle parenting.  is that going to work for every one?  no.  but does that make our way the only way?  no.  what is 'natural' for us, may very well be 'what the hell were you thinking' for you.

it's kind of like yoga.  you have to find the practice that works for you, and rock it.

***

Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be live and updated by afternoon July 12 with all the carnival links.)

• Between Love and Fear: On Raising our Children Sensibly — Mamma Earthly at Give an Earthly discusses the fear factor in parenting and how she overcame it, despite societal pressures.
• really, when do i get my cape? — Sarah at small bird on fire is a working city mama trying to learn how to set aside her expectations of perfection and embrace the reality of modern parenting.
• Baby, Infant, and Toddler Wearing — Child wearing is part of Sarah at Nourished and Nurtured's parenting philosophy. In this post, Sarah describes benefits of child-wearing and gives tips for wearing babies, infants, and toddlers (even while pregnant).
• First Year Reflections — As her daughter's first birthday approaches, Holly at First Year Reflections reflects on how she and her husband settled into attachment parenting after initially doing what they thought everyone else did.
• Making an allowance — Lauren at Hobo Mama welcomes a guest post from Sam about the unexpected lessons giving a four-year-old an allowance teaches the child — and the parent.
• How to be a Lazy Parent and Still Raise Great Kids — Lisa at Granola Catholic talks about how being a Lazy Parent has helped her to raise Great Kids.
• Philosophy in Practice — Laura at A Pug in the Kitchen shares how her heart shaped the parenting philosophy in her home.
• What is Attachment Parenting Anyway? — Gaby at Tmuffin describes the challenges of putting a label on her parenting philosophy.
• Of Parenting Styles — Jenny at Chronicles of a Nursing Mom talks about how she and her husband tailored various parenting styles to fit their own preferred parenting philosophy.
• Moment by Moment Parenting — Amy at Peace 4 Parents encourages those who care for children (including herself) to explore and appreciate parenting moment-by-moment with clarity, intention, trust, and action.
• Maintaining Spirituality in the Midst of Everyday Parenting, Marriage, and Life — Sarah at Nourished and Nurtured shares her perspective on finding opportunities for spiritual growth in every day life.
• Parenting Philosophy — Lily, aka Witch Mom's parenting philosophy is to raise child(ren) to be compassionate, loving, inquisitive, and questioning adults who can be trusted to make decisions for themselves in a way that avoids harming others.
• Long Term — Rosemary at Rosmarinus Officinalis thinks about who she would like to see her daughter become — and what she can do now to lay a strong foundation for those hopes.
• Connection, Communication, Compassion — She's come a long way, baby! After dropping her career in favour of motherhood, Patti at Jazzy Mama discovered that building solid relationships was going to be her only parenting priority.
• My Parenting Inspirations - Part 4 — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama looks at her biggest parenting inspiration and how that translates into her long-term parenting philosophy.
• A Parenting Philosophy in One Word: Respect — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction summarizes her parenting and relationship philosophy in one word: respect.
• Knowledge and Instinct — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment believes that knowledge and instinct are super important … as are love, encouragement and respect. It's the ideal combo needed to raise happy and healthy children and in turn create meaningful relationships with them.
• THRIVE! — The Sparkle Mama wants to set a tone of confidence, abundance, and happiness in her home that will be the foundation for the rest of her daughter's life.
• On Children — "Your children are not your children," say Kahlil Gibran and Hannah at Wild Parenting.
• This One Life Together — Ariadne aka Mudpiemama shares her philosophy of parenting: living fully in the here and now and building the foundation for a happy and healthy life.
• Enjoying life and planning for a bright future — Olivia at Write About Birth shares her most important parenting dilemmas and pours out her heart about past trauma and how healing made her a better parent.
• My Parenting Philosophy: Unconditional and Natural Love — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares what she has learned about her parenting philosophy from a year of following her instincts as a mama.
• An open letter to my children — Isil at Smiling Like Sunshine writes an open letter to her children.
• My Starter Kit for Unconditional Parenting — Sylvia at MaMammalia discusses her wish to raise a good person and summarizes some of the nontraditional practices she's using with her toddler son in order to fulfill that wish.
• Responsiveness — Sheila at A Gift Universe has many philosophies and goals, but what it all boils down to is responsiveness: listening to what her son wants and providing what he needs.
• Tools for Creating Your Parenting Philosophy — Have you ever really thought about your parenting purpose? Knowing your long-term goals can help you parent with more intent in your daily interactions. Dionna at Code Name: Mama offers exercises and ideas to help you create your own parenting philosophy.
• Be a Daisy — Becky at Old New Legacy philosophizes about individuality and how she thinks it's important for her daughter's growth.
• What's a Mama to Do? — Amyables at Toddler in Tow hopes that her dedication to compassionate parenting will keep her children from becoming too self-critical as adults.
• grown-up anxieties. — Laura at Our Messy Messy Life explains her lone worry concerning her babies growing up.
• Why I Used Montessori Principles in My Parenting Philosophy — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now tells why she chose Montessori principles to help her now-adult children develop qualities she wanted to see in them as children and adults.
• Parenting Philosophies & Planning for the Future — Momma Jorje considers that the future is maybe just a fringe benefit of doing what feels right now.
• Not Just Getting Through — Rachael at The Variegated Life asks what truths she hopes to express even in the most commonplace interactions with her son.
• Parenting Philosophy? Eh... — Ana at Pandamoly shares the philosophy (or lack thereof) being employed to (hopefully) raise a respectful, loving, and responsible child.
• Parenting Philosophy: Being Present — Shannon at The Artful Mama discusses the changes her family has made to accommodate their parenting philosophy and to reflect their ideals as working parents.
• Who They Will Be — Amanda at Let's Take the Metro shares a short list of some qualities she hopes she is instilling in her children at this very moment.
• Short Term vs. Long Term — Sheryl at Little Snowflakes recounts how long term parenting goals often get lost in the details of everyday life with two kids.
• Parenting Philosophy: Practicing and Nurturing Peace — Terri at Child of the Nature Isle sets personal goals for developing greater peace.
• Yama Niyama & the Red Pajama Mama — Part 1: The Yamas — In part 1 of a set of posts by Zoie at TouchstoneZ, Zoie guest posts at Natural Parents Network about how the Yoga Sutras provide a framework for her parenting philosophy.
• Yama Niyama & the Red Pajama Mama — Part 2: The Niyamas — In part 2 of a set of posts by Zoie at TouchstoneZ, Zoie explores how the Niyamas (one of the eight limbs in traditional Yoga) help her maintain her parenting and life focus.
• Our Sample Parenting Plan — Chante at My Natural Motherhood Journey shares hopes of who her children will become and parenting strategies she employs to get them there.
• Philosophical Parenting: Letting Go — Jona at Life, Intertwined ponders the notion that there's no right answer when it comes to parenting.
• Unphilosophizing? — jessica at instead of institutions wonders about the usefulness of navel gazing.
• Parenting Sensitively — Amy at Anktangle uses her sensitivity to mother her child in ways that both nurture and affirm.
• how to nurture your relationships — Mrs Green at Little Green Blog believes that sometimes all kids need is a jolly good listening to …
• Philosophy Of An Unnatural Parent — Dr. Sarah at Good Enough Mum sees parenting as a process of guiding her children to develop the skills they'll need.
• Life with a Challenging Kid: Hidden Blessings — Wendy at High Needs Attachment shares the challenges and joys of raising a high needs child.
• Flying by the Seat of My Pants — Heather at Very Nearly Hippy has realized that she has no idea what she's doing.

How cloth diapering made me a hippy

I've been meaning to write this blog for a while. And with the 'carnival of cloth' blog carnival going on (even though I'm not a part of it), this seemed like the perfect oppertunity. 

When I was pregnant with bubby I was about 50% sure that I wanted to do cloth. And hubby was 100% adamant that he would in no way shape or form cloth diaper because that might mean touching poo.  he's still a little skittish about that.  But I bought a batch of all in ones and we did a 50/50 split of cloth and 'sposies.  As long as I did all the laundry. Which I'm totally OK with, but still hate folding.  Anyway.  And we still do a split with cloth and disposable, but now its more of a 75/25 split.  Oh, and we've switched to prefolds and snappies over all in ones.  So much easier!

I connected in a big way with local cloth mommas thanks to friends like Andi from Confessions of a Judgmental Hippy who was one of my besties from even before children.  They pointed me in the right directions as far as books and websites on natural parenting and AP topics.  something about this just clicked with me, though im by no means an expert.  its not 'parent led', or 'child led' parenting, but its what works best for your family.  And I love that.  Its what works for us.  Not nessissarily what works for someone else.  But that's another blog post (no, really, it is, July 12)  This natural parenting research led me to think about things in a totally different way.  Especially in the products that I use for and ON my family. 

Looking at all the toxins that are in the average cleaning product my head exploded into little flying bits of gray matter.  After thinking it over and deciding that I didn't want to give my son athsma/infertility/cancer/bleeding death, I switched to using vinegar and baking soda or borax for almost everything.  I made my own laundry soap for a while, but the recipe I used got the clothes clean, but there was a stale smell that settled into the clothes after a month or so, but I'm going to give it another shot with a tweaked recipe and adding a downey ball of vinegar for the rinse cycle.  I've made my own soap for years as a hobby, so that was not a big switch. 

Next was momma cloth, which I love. I won't go too far into it (as I'm planing a whole post about momma cloth soon), but cramps have gone down, and pms is waaaaaay down since I've started using my momma cloth.  Coincidence? I don't think so.  Any who.  We stopped buying paper towels and have relied on 'flour sack' towels for months now, and I'm not sure hubby even noticed. And I'm headed out on my lunch break to buy fat quarters to make napkins.  Walmart has their pe cut fat quaers on sale for just. 75 each, so ill be getting a BUNCH of them.  The next step is to switch from regular hair dye to henna.  And before you ask, no, I'm not ever going to stop dying my hair.  Ever.  So put that thought out of your mind.  I'm in my 30's, not my 90's. 

So, yeah, cloth diapering is responsible for me being a hippy.

Keeping Everybody Up To Date

ok, typing quickly before getting ready to go to work.  multi tasking not my strong point.  just a quick note to keep everyone in the loop.

the side yard is cleared out (with the exception of the yard waste), and construction of the zen garden will begin when the EPA gives the nod.

the gypsy caravan is still in the 'what the hell am i thinking' phase, but i've got a source for plans (hopefully), and that will begin after the zen garden.

i need to repaint my bathroom.

got crafty again this weekend and made magnets for my magnet board out of wine corks.  i have plenty of them lying around.

ok, i'll try to have a real blog post sometime later this week

Magnet Board Instructable

i got a couple of cookie sheets from work today.  they were going to be thrown out if i didn't take them home.  and you all know how much i love free stuff.  so i CRAFTED!!!

here's how you make your very own magnetic boards from old cookie sheets:


first you need a couple of old cookie sheets and some spray paint

put the pan on a surface you don't mind getting splattered, like a garbage can:

spray till you have a nice even cover

and they will look something like this:

 or this

then by the time someone is ready to get out of the pool:

(yes, he's in there with his shoes on.  yeah.  i know)

they should be dry and you'll be ready to take them inside.

now you need some sticky back velcro, and attach it to the back like thus:

take the backing off the other half of the velcro and stick it where you want it.

i decided the inside of my 'witchy' cupboard was the perfect place.

and there you have it.  a simple easy way to make your own magnet board!

The value of acceptance.

Dreams are beautiful things.  I love nothing more than to let my imagination wander, taking me to exotic locations, intreaguing mysteries, and dangerous romance (oddly still always starring hubby... hmmm).  it gives me an escape from the every day, and everybody needs a little escape now and then.  And I wouldnt give up dreams for anything.  But there is also something to be said about 'accepting your lot in life' (as hubby puts it).

This is something that is actually pretty hard for me.  Call it the biproduct of a University Theater Education (and yes, I'll finish my degree someday), but I have trouble keeping my feet on the ground sometimes.  Hubby and I will make these grand glorious plans (comic book shop, coffee house, lottery winner), just to loose momentum about a quarter of the way through.  Not that we lack the drive, but we get sidetracked with children, bills, and the all consuming focus of keeping a roof over our heads. And lets be honest for a second, in today's economy there is precious little money left over for dreams sometimes. 

Not very in the moment, I know.

And getting the house painted made me realize something.  I will probably never leave that house.  Not for a good five or ten years at least. So all the dreams of packing up and leaving for New Zealand (or the latest, Florida) just aren't going to happen.  But here's the awesome part... I accept that.  I'm OK with putting those adventure dreams on hold. Because as awesome as it would be to home school bubby in a NZ hobbit hole, doing the same thing at our current home will be just as awesome in our own backyard. Especially if the lesson is on building our own hobbit hole.  Because staying here means I have a phenominal support system, my circle of friends whom I lurve, and I can build my own Little Zealand/Key West in the back yard. 

Not that I still don't have moments that I want to borrow mom and dads RV, take the kid(s) and just......go.  but I'll always have somewhere to go back to.